The Dog's Speak Out

I saw this little gem of a picture on another blog and I felt that it was the perfect answer from the dogs in the world to the LOLcats of the world.

I Lost My Cabeza For A Minute

I don't know what was wrong with me, but there is only one picture of a cat in a funny position that can fill the void in my peen. (oww.)

And that is you Cheesecat.
xoxoxoxo

Fascinating Cat, It's not that I don't love you, I just love Cheesecat more.

Can I Get A FUCKING DUH!

Umm.. I'm not even sure this post, or this story was necessary. If you've ever even caught a glimpse of American Idol, you can see the sunshine Vicodin haze that gathers around Paula.

I always assumed that there was some sort of morphine drip underneath the judging table, or some smashed up good stuff in her COCA COLA cup.

Paula is now admitting that she had a problem with painkillers (which we ALL new), and is blaming all of her "HEY PAULA: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" antics on that.

C'mon. This woman has Never been drunk before! Still, I don't think she's ever been sober either.

Love you Paula.

Just Felt Like Saying Fuck You

Here is Lily Allen's "Fuck You" to the world from her last album.

Lily is perfect. She's woody allen-esq. I'm pretty sure she'd punch you in the face if you crossed her in the wrong way. She smokes a bazillion packs of cigs a day. And she cries at least once a month about how she hates her body and it's not fair.

Lily is an English Delight.

Eminem Took Way Too Many Candies

Em ended up in rehab after eating a methadone... on top of his 20 vicodin, ambien, and Valium.

(Btw. What do they call that planet is that?)

I want to meet the doctor who perscribed him this much vicodin, and I'd like to place an order stat for some Ambien. That shit gets your ass to sleep stat.

Well, Em, I can tell you this, No one is too surprised. Just make sure you stay away from those Beverly Hills doctors. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!

I dumped Cheesecat. It's all about Fascinating Cat now.

Meet my new BF

Brit Brit Is Under The Evil Clutches Of PeePaw Spears

PeePaw Spears is starting to scare me.

Apparently he was the one who filed the restraining order against Sam Lufti, who, as of now, can't legally contact Brit until 2012. But Sam says Brit reached out to him for help.

And i believe the little rat bastard.

C'mon, Brit is crazy for cocoa puffs. She doesn't want some old backed up PeePaw running her life and keeping her money. She wants to blow all of that money of frappucinos and tacky clothing. And she should be allowed to!

America is the land where rich people can do whatever they want. Fuck gay marraige, and fuck abortion, I say we pass a constituitional amendment to free Brit.

You're a pal and a confidant!

Miss Beatrice "Bea" Arthur has passed away today, April 25, 2009, at the young age of 86. She succumbed to cancer, which she had been battling for years.

This is truly a sad day. Bea was... so tall, and funny, and beautiful!

She was the depends that held the Golden Girls' shit together.

Bea was/is an icon. Rose and Blanche must be taken aback by all this! They are the last two left. The only one who can carry the Golden Girls torch.

I haven't fully registered any of this.

But thank you Bea. Thank you for being a friend.

I'm A Sociopath... Get Me Out Of Here

American's, prepare to stoop to an all new low for entertainment.

The upcoming season of "I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here", I'm almost positive, was casted by death row inmates.

The tools above were casted, although one of those douchettes won't be allowed to participate.

Rod "Sell-a-seat" Blagojevich was told by a judge that he couldn't leave the country due to his pending trial.

If you want to talk about a lack of patriotism, there it is!

That horrible judge refuses to let us gawk at the amazing head of hair on that luney-toon's head.

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Miss California... Oh Oh... Poor Poor Miss California

So the bitch said it. She said what we know 70 percent of Americans really think, but don't. Perez has been blogging shit about her all morning.

This actually gets my little pea head thinking about something besides Alec Baldwin's chest hair. This whole situation.

I mean, the bitch said "she thinks that she believes blah blah blah."

If she had told us her opinion about foreign policy would people be so pissed?

The thing is, she's a fucking beauty queen. She's stupid. She's not smart. She's a car with manual windows. She's a VHS tape! She's an arby's value meal without seasoned fries.

So I guess what I'm saying is two things:


(1) To deal with your anger at this beauty queen, remember that, she's just a stupid beauty queen.

(I'm sure if you add a little horsey sauce to your arby's, it'll bring the IQ of the meal up enough to be smarter than her!)

and

(2) Sarah Palin is a terrible candidate for this reason (if you'll all remember who she was, the pretty big tittied ho who ran for the vice-presidency.)