Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tranny's Sloppy Seconds Impregnates Oscar Winner

The tubby man with the jerry curl spikes to your left is not only Jennifer Hudson's Hubby-to-be, but he's also the father of her baby to be.

Yes, oscar-winner and foodie Jennifer Hudson is bearing the fruit of Punk from I Love New York 2's loins.

David Otunga (Punk) is one lucky bastard.

And fortunately for his future offspring, he/she won't be a bastard. Hudson and Punk are also engaged.

This must give all sorts of hope to all the skank rejects of Rock of Love and the man hoes of I Love Daisy and I Love New York... especially after that disappointing realization that they will inevitably face when they realize they contracted
Herpes, Syphillis, Crabs, and gangrene peens and chi chis.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Funky Fresh Latin Grooves Of The 90's

OMC - How Bizarre

The only thing that is bizarre is this fucking song. Is it rap? Is it R n B? Is it latin music?

WTF is it.

It's Bizarre.

How fucking bizarre it is.

Quien se cree este hombre. H

Monday, May 18, 2009

Lindsay Lohan: Star or Slut?

You have to admit one thing when it comes to Lindsay Lohan: She's famous. Hounded by the paps day in and day out as she parties with her token red bull (or coke) and that "I'm the fucking shit" look on her freckled face.

She's an exotic beauty in the entertainment industry: deep red hair and freckles, she's a ginger by all accounts. So how did she become the "lindsay" to beat all other Lindsays? How did she make people care about her life?

Bein a bitch.

Shit, straight up.. This ho is a brokeback motha fuckin slim-pickin afta centric weave lady.

Stop doing drugs. Or don't.

But please... Stop bein a fuckin crazy bitch, lIndsay.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Dog's Speak Out

I saw this little gem of a picture on another blog and I felt that it was the perfect answer from the dogs in the world to the LOLcats of the world.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Lost My Cabeza For A Minute

I don't know what was wrong with me, but there is only one picture of a cat in a funny position that can fill the void in my peen. (oww.)

And that is you Cheesecat.

Fascinating Cat, It's not that I don't love you, I just love Cheesecat more.


Umm.. I'm not even sure this post, or this story was necessary. If you've ever even caught a glimpse of American Idol, you can see the sunshine Vicodin haze that gathers around Paula.

I always assumed that there was some sort of morphine drip underneath the judging table, or some smashed up good stuff in her COCA COLA cup.

Paula is now admitting that she had a problem with painkillers (which we ALL new), and is blaming all of her "HEY PAULA: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" antics on that.

C'mon. This woman has Never been drunk before! Still, I don't think she's ever been sober either.

Love you Paula.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Just Felt Like Saying Fuck You

Here is Lily Allen's "Fuck You" to the world from her last album.

Lily is perfect. She's woody allen-esq. I'm pretty sure she'd punch you in the face if you crossed her in the wrong way. She smokes a bazillion packs of cigs a day. And she cries at least once a month about how she hates her body and it's not fair.

Lily is an English Delight.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Eminem Took Way Too Many Candies

Em ended up in rehab after eating a methadone... on top of his 20 vicodin, ambien, and Valium.

(Btw. What do they call that planet is that?)

I want to meet the doctor who perscribed him this much vicodin, and I'd like to place an order stat for some Ambien. That shit gets your ass to sleep stat.

Well, Em, I can tell you this, No one is too surprised. Just make sure you stay away from those Beverly Hills doctors. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!