Wednesday, February 25, 2009

WTF????? Obama ain't gay.

I don't know whether to post my number for B-Rock or to just sit here and cotemplate my own existance.

This quote comes from The Globe article

"PRESIDENT Barack Obama is caught up in a new gay sex and drug scandal - and his loving wife is heartbroken, sources tell GLOBE in a blockbuster world exclusive. Find out all the details of the letter Michelle Obama received from the MAN who claims to be her husband's lover - and how America's devastated First Lady is fighting back against a shocking new tell-all book. It's must reading!"

If these allegations are true, America needs to buck the fuck up, stick their thumbs in their asses, and get the hell over it. We've got an economy to save.

So who cares is Obama took it in the bum?

Do you?

Obama is America's Sweetheart

B-Rock Obama's first speech to Congress, which aired on network TV Tuesday night pulled in a 24.5 market household rating across the four major broadcast networks.

For all y'all who is like WTF? That's a lot.

That's about the same ratings American Idol gets.

Shit, this isn't a surprise to me. B-Rock is mah boo. He so sexy. He so eloquent. I mean, he is so eloqent (sorry boo).

But seriously, nice to have a president who we all love to watch for the right reasons.

And on that note, I was watching CSI Miami cause my roomate is freaking addicted to it. It was this creepy episode where this dude killed his therapist for "not being there for him."

I used to think about going into psychology, but then I realize I only give a shit about my own damn problems.

I know I have to stop with the LOLCatz, but I can't help it. It's like I need my fix. And there's one for every situation.

Another Quote of the Day Via Perez: Lady Gaga Gives Brit Brit Props

"She’s a nice girl – I just feel very honoured that she wanted to sing my song. I used to scream for her in Times Square and now I work for her. When I was 13 she was the most provocative performer of my time. I love her so much! Britney certainly doesn’t need any freakin’ tips from me! Britney Spears is the queen of pop. I was learning from her."

- Lady GagGa, tells Now magazine, about writing Quicksand for Britney's new album, Circus

Thanks Perez, you well-endowed-in-the-belly area homosexual! kisses!

Hey Straight Guys, Megan Fox is Single... and she smokes down!

Megan Fox, my horny straight male friends, is now on the prowl for some new peen. She must have gotten sick of nibbling on Brian Austin Green's chi chis

According to USWeekly, a source says ,"The relationship had run its course. It's completely amicable, and they are remaining friends."

That's too bad, because I think Brian Austin Green, aka David Silver is a fine piece. And I'm sure he still has a penny or two after shooting 10 seasons of 9021-ho.
They had to pay that mofo way extra to make out with Tori Spelling anyway.

Dees. I am sure of.

Birthday Shoutouts to Carrot Top and Justin Berfield

I can't wait to look at Carrot Top in the future!

Since we all know how much I love the carrot peen, I thought I'd give Carrot Top a special birthday shoutout. The overgrown and SUPER TALENTED comedianne turns 44 today. I hope he gets a special prop for his big day.

Also, to 8th grade science fair partner, Justin Berfield, who played Reese on Malcom in the Middle and Ross on Unhappily Ever After (great show from the 90's) turns 23 today.

I just want to say thanks Justin, for building that entire bullshit radio by yourself.


This news has made my morning so much brighter. *sighs with happiness*

Nadya Suleman, aka OCTOMOMMY!!!! (yes, OCTOMOMMY!!!! needs at least four exclamations marks) has been offered the deal of a lifetime.

The Angie look-a-like has just been offered $1 million to do a porno for Vivid entertainment. Apparantley there's a big market for stretch mark porn.

Also, if OCTOMOMMY!!!! agrees to become a contract girl, they'll give all her kids full medical and dental coverage. Shit, I need to call Vivid and ask if they'll sign me up.

I doubt OCTOMOMMY!!!! will do it, though. She is far too classy. If you take the class of Angelina Jolie, Julie Andrews, and Audrey Hepburn, you've only got half of the class of OCTOMOMMY!!!! giant va jay jay.

OCTOMOMMY!!!! I heart u.

Below is a vintage pic of Nadya and two of her billion kids with the ever handsome Chuckie of Chuck-E-Cheese Fame.

Rachel Bilson and Gayden Christenhomo are engaged?

This is such a dissapointment. I wanted Rachel to continue having nerd sex with Adam Brody forever and ever and ever.

They could have had little half nerd half pug (i believe Rachel's mother was a pug) babies. But no, she had to 'jump' into Gayden Christensen's panties and make whoopy with him.

This is like a B+ lister couple. It's like, neither of them have done anything wrong. And they're both deeeecent (although I know some girls and boys who would cream Jello Pudding out their pants for Hayden)its like, I have to force myself to care about this.

When I found out Nicole Ritchie was preggers I was like, OMGZ. And now that I find out these two celebitys (thats not a typo) are engaged, I'm like, well, I guess I COULD post it.

But I won't leave you without a kitty picture (i'm way into the LOL CATS lately.)