Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I Think I Might Start Calling This Blog: "David Carradines Secret Naughty Sexy Times"

According to the owner of a sex toy shop in Tarzana, CA (southern CA) Carradine ordered "women's lingerie, stockings, a few pieces of bondage equipment and three bondage DVDs," along with some backordered items that he was supposed to come retrieve at a later time.

It would have been nice for Carradine to have lived, and then published his memoirs: Kung Fu and Fish Nets.

Monday, June 8, 2009

David Carradine: The Ongoing Investigation

David Carradine's family is not budging from their stance that Carradine's death was the result of foul play. Mark Geragos, uber-celebrity lawyer told Larry King that David was attempting to bust mafia groups in the martial-arts underworld.

Translation: Ninjas killed David Carradine. (Where was Uma Thurman?)

According to Geragos, "David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secre societies." Ninjas, of course, are part of a secret society.

And only Ninjas would be smart enough to make it look like David died accidentally during some cooky sexy times.

The photo that was supposedly of David had a blacked out face and blacked out peen peen. The family said they would sue if the photo if anyone else tries to publish the pic.

Carradine's death was eerily consistent to his movie persona. Except for the whole kinky sex games thing.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

New Peaches People

Here is the latest video from Peaches. So suck on your titties and check out her Chrissy behind in "Lose You".

It's sort of sounds like Stacey Q, the 80's pop queen, aka the love of my life.

The song below is heaven.

Heidi's Stomach Is Trying To Quit That Bitch

For the bazillionth time, Heidi and Spencer Prick are trying to get out of Costa Rica and back to papparazzi lined streets of LA.

This time, Helium Head Heidi is claiming that she has a gastric ulcer. Turns out Heidi couldn't even stomach herself any longer.

I don't know whether I feel bad for Heidi or the ulcer?

I don't know what to say about these two. I don't feel like any sort of logical reaction will make any sense to them. Heidi and Spencer only react in one way to anything. Spencer plots revenge while Heidi has the Andy Griffith theme song on repeat in her head.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I Like This

Welcome to another episode of "I Like This"

Today's "I Like This" Is about Korean Pop Girl Group "Wonder Girls" and the video and song "Nobody"

They are cool.

Kill Bill... But If You Don't, He'll Kill Himself

David Carradine, of Kung-Fu and Kill Bill fame, died a couple of days ago in a Thailand hotel.

Some reports say he committed suicide (SUCIO!) while others report that Carradine died in pursuit of the perfect orgasm.

The Bangkok Post reported that his body was found curled up in the wardrobe with a shoelace tied around his genitals and neck.

While a police official said he was found in his closet, hanged.

I don't know who to believe, but what I would like to know is:

What are the odds of surviving that kind of sexy times?

Anybody ever try it? I'll bet that's what Jon Gosselin gets off to. He probably wasn't into it until Kate had all those babies and got all crazy in the brains.

(If you didn't know, Kate's brains don't exist in her skull like everyone else. They are actually external and in the shape of a dead possum which doubles as her hair.)