Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Things I Just Ate because I have the munchies

A bag of chili cheese fritos

A box of junior mints

Two String Cheese

Animal Collective

So long Bushy. I hope your dumb dog doesn't bite your ass on the way out.

Here is a compilation of Bush's smartest moments

This is what Mariah Carey looks like as a serious actress

Mariah should hire the movie's costume designer because she looks like she could actually live on Earth in this picture.

This is a still shot from Mariah's up and coming movie "Push".

Let's hope make up design wins an oscar for peeling off all that glitter and Hello Kitty eye shadow off of Mimi.

Look at all these Diva ho-bags

I didn't know about this until i just recently found it on youtube. And let me say, I got very happy in the pants when I saw it.

Of course Beyonce and Pink can only wish they were as fucking crazy as Britney. Brit was probably crushing up adderall and snorting it.

Brit was like, "Heya Piiiink! You wanna snort some medecines with me?"

Of course Pink said yes, but you know Beyonce didn't even speak to Britney. (Or was it Sasha Fierce that ignored her?)

Beyonce is cool, But "It's Britney Bitch!"

The Pregnant Man is kinda stupid

So it's great that this chick is now totally a dude and totally pregant, but did anybody realize how totally stupid these two dumb bitches are?

They don't really answer King's questions, they just say "We feel normal. We feel normal! blah blah." I just want Larry to say, "Fuck this. I've interviewed midgets, president Bush, and deformed people, and you two are by far the dumbest pieces of shit I have ever talked to.

Hey, at least these hoes feel normal. I haven't felt that way since I felt it move during a Britney music video.

Angela Anaconda: Lezzie in Training

Angela Anaconda came on when i was about 12. Even before I knew I was gay, I knew that Angela Anaconda was a tire loving beaver muncher.

In any case, I can't watch too much of this show on account of this show gives me the slight creeps.

Bye Bye Georgy. We hardly like you!

So, Bush is out, Obama is in.

I'm not sure what more I can about. I'll just smoke a bowl in honor of our new prez and then I'll dedicate my breakfast of chicken flavored ramen noodles to him.

Bunsen and Beaker: Who was the Top?.

Here's Beaker taking it up the ass from Bunsen and his scientific ass.
I'm pretty sure these two were "roomates."

And Beaker's head looks like a wee wee.

Tom Cruise Just Busted A Nut

Tom Cruise is demanding that all reporters who want to interview the Scientologist watch his delayed ejaculation, also known as Valkyrie, and like it before they can interview him.

If I were a GDamn celebrity of Tommy's stature, I'd demand a lot more than that.

1) You must bring a kitten into the interview room.
2) That kitten must be named after Suri.
3. Each interviewer must give me a thorough testicle exam.

Screw if they liked my movie or not.

I haven't seen Valkyrie, but I'm sure it's better than the 3 hour nap "Benjamin Button."

I wish hurricane Katrina would have destroyed that movie.

Amy Winehouse is Gettin High on Pole

I'm not really sure who the chick above is, but I thought she looked like Amy Winy enough.

Well, anyhow, A-Wine i STILL down in St. Lucia on drug holiday.

She's having sex with someone who isn't Blake, and she's performing cracked out (she can't do anything else) versions of puppy love.

She's having sex with some dude named Josh Bowman, but really, who fuckin cares. I saw a picture of this dude, and he's pretty sexay, but theres no way he could ever keep up with Wino's crack habit. He'll be gone faster than Wino can turn a meth pipe.

My theory is that Wino spent millions on a special extended release crack pill, so while everyone thinks she sober, oodles of crack are being smoked by her blood cells.
Besides, everyone knows Wino can't get it up without a little bit of crack.