Monday, March 9, 2009

Vital Information For Your Everyday Life

This was like the best part of All That. And All That was a pretty good show. And I mean that just like I said it. Pretty good.

It wasn't really good. Is any sketch show ever really good? I mean, maybe there's a good episode. Or a good performer.

Like Kristen Wigg. Pretty much anything she does is hilarious. No, I mean, everything she does is hilarious. She's the best part of Saturday Night Live. But SNL isn't a masterpiece of a show. Half of the skits suck, and Kenan Thompson just makes it that much worse of a show.

He has got to be the least funny cast member to have ever been on that show. Why do they let him on the stage? He's not funny.

Kenan was in All That. I think he did one funny skit, and it was where he played an old dude.

Kenan sucks. Why is he getting paid thousands of dollars to be on TV and I can barely pay my rent.

Oh yeah, because all I do is sit and post stupid shit like this on my blog.

Box Office For Last Weekend

They should totally make The Crotchmen into a movie!

Anywho... heres the box office numbers from this past weekend

Watchmen (Warner Bros.) $55.7 million - opening weekend
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail (Lionsgate) $8.8 million - 3 wk total $76.5m
Taken (20th Century Fox) $7.5 million - 6 wk total $118.0m
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight) $6.9 million - 17 wk total $125.4m
Paul Blart Mall Cop (Sony) $4.2 million - 8 wk total $133.6m
He's Just Not That Into You (Warner Bros.) $4.0 million - 5 wk total $84.6m
Coraline (Focus Features) $3.3 million - 5 wk total $65.7m
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Disney) $3.1 million - 4 wk total $38.4m
Jonas Brothers: 3D Concert Experience (Disney) $2.8 million - 2 wk total $38.4m
Fired Up (Sony) $2.6 million - 3 wk total $13.4m

Why Would Anybody Want To See Jacko?

Okay, this fucker officialy scares me now.

I don't give two shits what he did in his past. We all know the 80's belong to this fool, and yes, his albums were, and are influential and yadda yadda.

But the guy sleeps with children and looks like a botox infused Asian woman. And his nose is falling off according to several reports. So tell me this... WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE HIS CONCERT?

I don't know who i'm talking to, because I can't fathom anybody having a burning desire to see this freakshow in concert. For me, it would be like going to the circus if i had a fear of clowns. I have Jackophobia. I am afraid that I will ever run into this dude. He's scary

*shudders* x a million

Those people screaming for him are obviously all schizophrenics who have been continuously sedated for the past 20 years.

Asslee... I Mean Ashlee Simpson Is Set To Be On Melrose Place 2.0

(I know it's an old pic, but I like to think of this bitch with her old Titanic shaped nose)

It's almost difficult for me to say Ashlee Simpson now instead of Asslee Simpson. All of the gossip blogs call her Asslee, and as you can probably tell, I read way too many gossip blogs.

Well anyass... Jessica's little sister is set to be one of the stars on the new version of Melrose Place.

haha. HAhahahAHahahahaHAHahahaha (my laugh is varying from "that's really funny" to "that's amusing.")

I'm not one to make assumptions, and i've never seen the shit show straight to dvd movie Asshole Simpson was in... but I GUARA-FUCKIN-TEE This whore can't act. Fuck, she can't even lip sync the right song.

And why are they making a new Melrose Place. WTF? You can't just redo a concept and call it the same name as an old show. IT'S A DIFFERENT FUCKING SHOW! G-d Dammit. Seriously. God, I am asking you to damn this show.

It's bad enough that they did this shit to 90210 (wtf is the use of having 90210 without Brandon Walsh?) and now they're going to do it to another show. Aaron Spelling is turning over in his grave.