Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mrs. Cruise, I'm Trying To Watch K-Stew and R-Patts

So Katie Holmes walks in to this joint, a New Moon screening in New York, and she's all, talking with her friends throughout the entire movie.

Was she on the bad shit?
Maybe she was just malfunctioning. Tommy probably forgot to upgrade her to Windows 7!

Why didn't Suri lay down on this biatch?

Anyways, below is a reenactment of Katie at the scene.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

She's Still Got It

Janet outdoes Britney. No question.

This Song Encourages Victorian Ideals

One man to one woman. This is bullshit. BULLSHIT!

As if every woman needs a man. Those 4 lovely ladies don't need those three greasy boys and their gay gay papa. They need to learn some skills! You know, some useful skills to make them productive citizens.

If you ask me, Alice was the only biznatch with any sense. That broad kept that house spic and span. That's not easy to do with SIX (count 'em), SIX ungrateful, smoking, broken nosed, jealous, stupid (the little girl), horny (greg), pubescent, and ugly (...) brats.

If you ask me, they ought to update this show and make it useful to kids today. Hit the books. Become a doctor, and don't do blow! (I'm looking at you Marcia!!!)

Those awful Brady kids could have learned a thing or two from the other on-air family.

Now I know they both sang and danced, but at least the theme song to the Partidge Family doesn't encourage prostitution!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Be Free. Be Jonas

There is now an unoffical 4th Jonas Brother. Some Spanish dude lost his cahonies and rushed the stage at a JoBro concert in Madrid.

"Ay Ay Ay. Caliente," he thought before he lost it and jumped the stage. Dude actually has some good stage presence. Much better than the ugly one, or the diabetes one, or, well, any of them actually. Give this dude a record deal!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Quiznos Is Only Good For A Little While, Then You Have To Switch

What is it with these "real" pictures that make food look so unappetizing.

I feel like asking what companies do to their food to make it look so appetizing is one of those questions you start to ask with vigor, and after a while, you lose interest.


What sort of delicious chemicals are being put into commercial food and why aren't they putting them in my meal?

This is what a Quizno's commercial meatball sub looks like:

Come to think of it, for 2.99, I don't care what it looks like.