Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kesha At 13!

The Tik Tok singer can really sing.

Can you imagine this girl turning into the girl below!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

First There Was Couple's Counseling...

In true Charlie Sheen fashion, Chuck has checked himself back into rehab, so he can chill out and run out the shakes. Meanwhile, his wife, Brooke Mueller, has ALSO checked into rehab.

ISN'T THAT CUTE!!! (*awkward smile/grimace)

Some sources are saying Brooke doesn't think that crack is whack. And my guess is that whatever Brooke's doing, Chuckles is doing it in spades.

Maybe they were just huffing glue or good ole fashioned boozing.

Although, I can't seem to get the image out of my mind of Charlie sitting in front of a mound of Peruvian Flake practicing his lines for Two And A Half Men.

"Is that funny?" He asks his dealer.

"Fuck no" the dealer responds.

Here's something for you little Career People to look at whenever you want a laugh sandwich:

Monday, February 22, 2010

Free Betty White!

So rumor has it that the lovely and talented Betty White will be hosting the big SNL! Saturday Night Live.

But, there is one serious problem.

That same pesky rumor also says that she'll be CO-HOSTING the show with other famous women... I think it was former women of SNL.

FIRST OF ALL! Fuck that.
Second, fuck you.
Third, Betty is not a former lady of SNL (FOR SHAME!). She doesn't need anybody to help her host this shit show.

Fuck, five minutes of Betty White on the Craig Ferguson show is more laughs than three and a half seasons of Saturday Night Losers.

Seriously Lorne Michaels, give Betty her own episode. Don't be stooopid!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Leo Still Has It

And Martin Scorcese helped, too!

Shutter Island, Martin Scocese's latest flick about a cop who goes to a haunted mental institution (go figure!) made $40 million at the box office this weekend making it the number 1 movie in America.

Leo can take the money to get some facial lipo... dude's got a little fat face. He used to be so well proportioned. And now it's like that extra roll at dinner goes straight to his cheeks (insert ass hole joke here).

Valentine's Day came in at number 2 with $17 million while Avatar (wtf?) came in at third with $16 million.

Okay people. You need to see Avatar, then let it go. James Cameron is wiping his ass with our hard earned recession dollars, while we're standing in line at the free Church lunch. Why? So we can save enough money to see fucking Avatar again.

Just watch old reruns of Smurfs on Youtube instead. Everyone knows Avatar is just a rip off of the Smurfs anyway.

Rue McLanahan Is 76 Years Young Today

I want all of you stone heads and Golden Girl Fanclub presidents to get out to the Hallmark store (They have a 99 cent section) and purchase the wonderful Rue McLanahan (the ho from Golden Girls) a beautiful 21st birthday card (she is eternally young).

It's Rue's 76th birthday today, and if it weren't Sunday, I would take the day off work and go to Church or something (Church's aren't open on Sundays, right?).

If you're too lazy to leave your apartment today, then just sing-a-long with the video below, and you'll be forgiven.

And yes, I'm reposting!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Whatchu Talkin Bout Insider?

Oh Gary. My sweet little hershey kiss. My fair little lady. My poor little poo poo.

This video just shows you not to F$%# with Gary if you want an interview. You do it Gary's way, or you don't do it at all.

I wonder if they still paid Gary the millions he's worth even though he walked off the set. He probably only got his standard six figures, and a bowl of cheerios served to him on his favorite High Chair (Fisher Price makes 'em like no one else!).

Let this be a lesson to all of you other media types. Don't screw with Gary Coleman or you ain't get nothing! You're just lucky, INsider, that Gary didn't hog-tie your asses with his "I'm A Big Boy Cowboy" play set from Leap Frog.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Here's the Real Question

Do you like cheerios? Do you think the box of cheerios above is sexy? Do you like the way it stares at you?

I certainly do!

May Your Nightmares Be As Brilliant As This

Edgar Allen Poe with moving lips and old fucking film. This is golden!

Bitty Betty

Betty White is on top of her game lately.

She's making appearances on late night, taking hits on a Snickers commercial, and telling Rue Calahan to stuff it!

Betty White is the Beyonce/Michelle Williams/Kelly Rowland of the Golden Girls.
She's a survivor. She's not gon' give up. She's gon work harder. She's a survivor. And she'll keep on surviving.

To continue, this blog wants to also give props to Betty White. Because it is cool to give props to Betty White!

Of the bottom two videos, one will sooth your heart, and one will stimulate your prostate.

You decide which is which.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Most Interesting Things Going On In Entertainment...

I was at the house of my parents recently, and as I was hidden away in their food closets (making rounds between the fridge), I pulled out a jar of peanut butter, which I began to spoon like it was Brad Pitt (circa the 22 year old Benjamin Button). And as I was eating this peanut butter, I noticed something extra special about it. Something you just don't come across everyday.

When I check the bottle, I nearly fainted (but i actually just kept on spooning it). It was honey roasted peanut butter. It was like they put all of the sugar of honey roasted peanuts into my peanut butter.

I was happy, my dog was happy (i put a spoonful on his nose), and my jiggly tigglies were happy (i put a spoonful there for good measure... thanks dog!).