This One Is Going To Climb The Charts

...fag beasts and bloody fags... la la la la la....

Drink This Stuff

I just discovered this drink a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if they carry it everywhere, but they sure as hell do carry it at the liquor next to my work.

It's the most amazery antioxidant drink hullaballoo i've ever let drip between my lips (....)

You see the blue caps? Those things carry vitamin powder. When you twist the blue part, the flavored vitamin powder fills up the yucky plain water and you then you have yourself a low cal fruity beverage that is also fruity!

Giant Fucking Jellyfish

Sick. Amazing. Wtf? Scary?

Apparantley these giant jellyfish are terrorizing coastal cities in Japan.

But it's not what you think.

The giant jellyfish are tearing the expensive fishing nets that are the foundation for many of these small villages economies.

The only current solution is an alert system that lets fisherman know when there are giant jellies in the water. They still lose the catch, but.. eh. yah know.

They look like Brit Brit circa Adnan

Shit Dawg. Micha got a 5150!

Like the Great Britney Spears did before her, Mischa Barton has landed herself a 5150 deal.

What? A deal, you say. That must be a good thing!

Wrong.

A 5150 is a court ordered psychiatric evaluation (moreorless) because one has been deemed incapable of caring for them self.

Our little Mischa is growing up? (WTF?)

Obama Hates A Gay

Yes, it is true. Obama has forgot about the gays.

He is totally being a homophobe.

He should back the gays FULLY and 100 percent, and face the utter reality that

A HUGE PORTION OF THIS COUNTRY AND THE WORLD THINK GAYS BURN IN HELL FOR THEIR IMMORALITY.

Folks, my fellow gays, my fellow gay Americans, my fellow straight americans, Black Americans... every fucking stupid bullshit name you want to give yourself...

The point is not to fight against the hate, but to fight with the hope.

GIVE CELIA HODES AN EMMY!

The emmy nominations are in... SPICY! And one of my favorite TV bitches is nominated.

I think we should all write to congress that (1) Elizabeth Perkins (Celia on Weeds) should win the emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy and (2) That ENTOURAGE will not win ANY AWARDS.

I can't say that Entourage rubs any part of my body the right way. It feels kind of like a really sticky deodorant, that smells like cheap Cologne.

Anyway. If Weeds does win the emmy's, isn't it sort of mandatory to celebrate with bong rip?

Here are the nominations:
(the interesting ones anyways)

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight Of The Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office
Weeds

Outstanding Drama Series
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series
Steve Martin - 30 Rock
Jon Hamm - 30 Rock
Alan Alda - 30 Rock
Beau Bridges - Desperate Housewives
Justin Timberlake - Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series
Edward Asner - CSI: NY
Ted Danson - Damages
Jimmy Smits - Dexter
Ernest Borgnine - ER
Michael J. Fox - Rescue Me

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series
Jennifer Aniston - 30 Rock
Elaine Stritch - 30 Rock
Gena Rowlands - Monk
Betty White - My Name Is Earl
Tina Fey - Saturday Night Live
Christine Baranski - The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series
Sharon Lawrence - Grey's Anatomy
Ellen Burstyn - Law & Order: SVU
Brenda Blethyn - Law & Order: SVU
Carol Burnett - Law & Order: SVU
CCH Pounder - The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

Outstanding Host For A Reality Program
Ryan Seacrest - American Idol
Tom Bergeron - Dancing with the Stars
Heidi Klum - Project Runway
Jeff Probst - Survivor
Phil Keoghan - The Amazing Race
Padma Lakshmi & Tom Colicchio - Top Chef

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
Jemaine Clement - Flight of the Conchords
Tony Shalhoub - Monk
Jim Parsons - The Big Bang Theory
Steve Carell - The Office
Charlie Sheen - Two and a Half Men

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall - Dexter
Hugh Laurie - House
Gabriel Byrne - In Treatment
Jon Hamm - Mad Men
Simon Baker - The Mentalist

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
Tina Fey - 30 Rock
Christina Applegate - Samantha Who?
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - The New Adventures of Old Christine
Sarah Silverman - The Sarah Silverman Program
Toni Collette - The United States of Tara
Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
Sally Field - Brothers & Sisters
Glenn Close - Damages
Mariska Hargitay - Law & Order: SVU
Elisabeth Moss - Mad Men
Holly Hunter - Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer

Outstanding Reality - Competition Program
American Idol
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
The Amazing Race
Top Chef

Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow
Dirty Jobs
Dog Whisperer
Intervention
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
MythBusters

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series
Tracy Morgan - 30 Rock
Jack McBrayer - 30 Rock
Kevin Dillon - Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris - How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson - The Office
Jon Cryer - Two And A Half Men

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
William Shatner, Boston Legal
Christian Clemenson - Breaking Bad
Aaron Paul - Damages
William Hurt - Damages
Michael Emerson - Lost
John Slattery - Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
Jane Krakowski - 30 Rock
Kristin Chenoweth - Pushing Daisies
Amy Poehler - Saturday Night Live
Kristin Wiig - Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams - Ugly Betty
Elizabeth Perkins - Weeds

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Cherry Jones - 24
Rose Byrne - Damages
Sandra Oh - Grey's Anatomy
Chandra Wilson - Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest - In Treatment
Hope Davis - In Treatment

Wash your hands, Wash your hands, Do your taxes, Wash your hands.

Do you remember this guy? Come on, he was pretty big news for about, the time between lunch and a pre-dinner snack... It's Richard Hatch, the winner of the first Survivor: 1. That was all the way back where people still sort of notice you for being on it. I think the show currently is just a ride at Disney World. I wonder if they even need waivers. There's probably just little signs everywhere that says, if we exploit you at any time, you have no right to sue, bitch, or any of the profits.

Well anyway, Richard "chubby daddy" Hatch won't be allowed to embark on the Survivor 20th anniversary shindig/ exploitation party because he's basically still in jail for not paying his taxes on the million dollars he got for winning the first survivor.

Why do I think gays don't pay their taxes? They always think they're above the law. Gay mafia. Gay mafia. Gay mafia. Gay mafia. Gay mafia.

I have no idea why i kept typing that. I should really hold off on burning herbs... y'all know what i'm saying.

Here's Brit for everyone in the Gay Mafia!

Back to Black

Amy Winehouse has returned to the UK after staying 18 months at an island paradise, St. Lucia.

Consider the island her rehab and let's just all pretend like Amy never really had a drug problem, or a drinking problem, (or a fighting problem?). Let's just pretend like "it was just a song." That she was just thinking of an idea for a song... Yeah. That's how it goes.

Her real life pain and addiction aren't the reason she's so famous... The fact that Rehab is her only big hit in the States is COMPLETELY indicative of the fact that Amy Winehouse is of sound mind.

I'll bet her next hit revolves around the island dubi.

I think this video speaks for itself.

This glorious rendition of Brit Brit's "...Baby One More Time" is making me feel like maybe there is hope left in this world. Maybe we can cure AIDS, solve the problems in the middle east. Maybe Lindsay Lohan can get her career back!

Well, maybe the first two.

Enjoy this moment

Billie Jean, Live in New York 2001.

Look at the impact he has on people. C'est bizarre!

Sarah Palin Deserves An Oscar

I think we should amp up the Michael Jackson coverage by a thousand percent. Anything to get Silly Sarah Palin off of my TV.

I'm pretty sure my television is about to break itself every time Silly says something like "we know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time."

If I ever saw a politician spit some lame ass lie, this was it.

Tell me, if you can effect positive change outside of government, then whats with all the presidential talk?

Whatever. If she becomes president, then they better legalize marijuana...

VASSUP!

Hey folks, are your peens swooning for the premiere of Germany's greatest gayport (export) Bruno.

Borat cleans up pretty nicely, ey?

Would you stick your snuffleufagus in his aschenholer?

I'm on the fence, but fuck it. I mean seriously, fuck it.