So Long Socks

The most beloved member of the Clinton family, feline Socks, passed away due to throat cancer. Apparantley, the kitty liked to chew.

The Clintons put out a statement, "Socks brought much happiness to Chelsea and us over the years, and enjoyment to kids and cat lovers everywhere. We're grateful for those memories, and we especially want to thank our good friend, Betty Currie, for taking such loving care of Socks for so many years."

You know this brings the tears. Whenever a kitty or a puppy gets hurt or dies i always feel it in the most sensitive place in my soul (somewhere right above my peen).

Seriously, though, if you actually read the quote above you'll notice that the Clinton's thanked Betty Currie, the presidential secretary who adopted Socks after the Clinton's moved out of The White House.

So that's how it is Hilary? You just dump your beloved cat on someone else. Socks wasn't important enough to you?

But he's so cute!!!

What the FUD?

That thing you're looking at above is not an energy drink. It's a FUD!

A Female Urination Device. It's so that biatches can pee pee standing up. HAHAHAHA.

Click Here for the official Go Girl Website.

If i were a chick I would be purchasing this item immediately. Most girls don't know the pleasure of peeing standing up (bit I for sure know some girls who can do it.) so this might just be the key to that glory.

This shit would be a bomb Christmas present. I think I'm going to get one for my mom and my sister!

And check out P. Diddy peeing below for an example of how awesome peeing can be.

Chris Brown... WTF?

It might just be over for you Chris Brown. I'm not sure you're career can withstand this.

In all seriousness, this isn't funny. It makes me sad, and sick.

Peepz. Control Y'all selves.

If you want to see the very sad picture of Rihanna then click here. I can't post that shit on this site.

Pics of OctoMommy's new Crib (hahaha so many puns!)

I Am Officially Obsessed With Octo-Mommy

I can't explain exactly what draws me to this gorgeous bat shit crazy baby lady. I think it has something to do with her excellent abilities at exploiting her life and her kids.

It's probably the fact that she does Angie Jolie better than Angelina herself.

Nadye Suleman, otherwise known as OctoMommy is looking at buying a $1.24 million dollar house.

Last week she was broke, had 14 kids, and no job.

This week she has 14 kids, no job and a ton of cash. But she deserves it, seriously.

I seriously, deep down in my heart, want this lady to be mega rich, mega famous. I want her to have her own daytime talk show. She can be like Oprah, but with 14 kids. I want the world to revere this beauty and give her the respect and love and affection that she deserves.

I don't know why I'm posting the pic below, because it royally freaks me out and makes me want to puke, but i'm sure some of y'all will get a kick (or a stretch mark) out of it.

Lily Allen... A Female Douche

So Lily Allen pulled another douche move. You know, I usually don't call girls douches, but Lily Allen is an exception. She's like that dude who thinks he's so witty and clever but is really just an asshole. Yeah, I imagine that Lily is a douchy asshole.

The funny thing is, if she reads this, she'll probably start crying about how fat she is (That's her natural reaction to any bad press "I WANT LIPO!!!). I think someone should give Lily a lobotomy.

I'm kidding. but wouldn't that be funny as hell if Lily Allen was all gagagaga. hahaha. What a douche bitch.

Oh, and that tattoo is the same one that Rihanna has.

Don't Expect To See Kanye in Any Gay Bars

In a recent interview with DETAILS magazine, Kaney professed his love for gays, saying that they are dope?

Umm... did he mean fabulous?

"...in the past two, three years, all the gay people I've encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y'know, I haven't, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person—the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design—it'd be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids'll say, 'Dude, those pants are gay.' But if it's, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it's on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it's, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, 'Dude, that's so good it's almost . . . gay.'"


I'm glad to see that Kanye in nuancing the word Gay, but sad to see that I won't ever run into him at Rage in West Hollywood. After all, I totally dig on the puffy cheek. I bet one could fit a pretty large package in there!

This Makes My Heart Flutter

Carrie Underwood taking a dive at an Ottawa Senators game (They're a hockey team) is heart warming to my soul. I love it when celebrities put their handbags in front of their faces, hide behind news papers, or even seven eleven coffee filters(see below).

Carrie is apparently bumping nasties with the Senator's player Mike Fisher.

I wonder what Carrie is so worried about anyway. It's not like she can go many places without being photographed, so what the hell is the big deal here?

Maybe she's embarrased because Mike has a small pisher. But only she would know that. Maybe it's a dark dark secret that haunts the core of her soul.

All day and all night she fears "WHAT IF THEY KNOW HOW SMALL HIS PETER IS?! MY CAREER WILL BE OVER."

Whatev, it's probably just your classic I'm too famous for this bullshiz, and Carrie was embarrased it wasn't a Lakers Game or a Bulls Game. I mean, fuck, I didn't even know who the Senators were until I read this story on Dlisted.

Watch Los Angeles' Mega Superstar Angelyne go buck wild crazy at a 7/11 in LA

I Know I'm A Little Late On This One

So this video has already been watched a bazillion times, talked about on Bill O'Reilly and other news outlets (BTW Bill O'Reilly. STFU).

Nothing in this world beats the scream at 0:58. You can tell David has just had enough of the lala world that evil dentist had thrown him into.

BTW... what the hell kind of drugs did they give him, because I want some. I've been under the gas, and that shit usually wears off when they take the mask off?

I wonder if they gave that kid some of the good stuff... some I Dream of Vicodeeny.

Oh, and here's the remix for all y'all true blooded fans.

Joaquin Phoenix Wins Today's Douche Bag Award

Joaquin Phoenix has gone completely batshit crazy.

I know he's tired of acting and wants to go onto music, and that doesn't make him crazy exactly (if you ignore the fact that he's turning down tens of millions per movie role... fucktard). But the beard and the sunglasses during this Letterman interview might just make one hell of an argument to send this mofo to Bellvue Psychiatric Hospital.

He's acting like a complete douche in this interview, and I'm sure he knows it. I'm starting to think his hiatus on acting is just one big act that he's trying to pull. He's probably thinking how anti-establishment he is and how he's so real and cool. I think Letterman is throwing that sort of idea into his face by giving him the total disrespect this chump deserves.

YOU'RE A GOOD ACTOR JOAQUIN. BUT YOU SUCK AS A D-BAG.