Monday, January 26, 2009

Paul Blart! WTF?

Here are this past weekend's box office results

Paul Blart Mall Cop (Sony) $21.5 million - 2 wk total $64.8m
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (Sony) $20.7 million - opening weekend
Gran Torino (Warner Bros.) $16.0 million - 7 wk total $97.6m
Hotel for Dogs (Paramount) $12.4 million - 2 wk total $37.0m
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight) $10.6 million - 11 wk total $55.9m
My Bloody Valentine 3D (Lionsgate) $10.1 million - 2 wk total $37.7m
Inkheart (Warner Bros.) $7.7 million - opening weekend
Bride Wars (Fox) $7.0 million- 3 wk total $48.7m
Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The (Paramount) $6.0 million, 5 wk total $111.0m
Notorious (Fox Searchlight) $5.7 million - 2 wk total $31.8m

I am exremely dissapointed with you America. For the second weekend in a row, the top movie in this great nation has been Paul Blart Mall Cop.

Though I have not seen this movie, I can assure you that it is crap and whoever saw it will probably be tortured in some circle of hell (as if seeing it wasn't bad enough).

Movie critic darling, and food enthusaist, Roger Ebert had this to say, "It's as slam-bang preposterous as any R-rated comedy you can name. It's just that Paul Blart and the film's other characters don't feel the need to use the f-word as the building block of every sentence."

I don't know what you mean by Slam-bang Roger, but for me, that involves banging.
And what kind of movie doesn't use the f-word! WTF? What kind of un realistic fantasy world is the movie trying to convey.

You know what I say: Fuck you Paul Blart. Fuck you, and you're stupid name, and you're stupid job. Fuck fuck fuckles fucksworth you.

Dang, bitches. Start seeing better movies.

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