Monday, January 26, 2009

Stoners Keep McDonalds Rich

Just sit for a moment and allow your eyes to indulge on the sweetness of a McDonalds 99 cent double cheeseburger. Nobody knows if it's the delicious "fried in lard" taste that makes it so scrumptious, or the glorious price of 99 cents.

So apparantley, McDonalds profits have jumped 80% over the past year. Let me just tell you, I work another job blogging about the economy, and this is a fucking feat.

I imagine (or do I remember?) stoners swarming to McDonald's and filling their cars with McChickens, Double Cheeseburgers, and apple pies (and sundaes, and small drinks, and small fries).

I think I know how Mickey D's did it. Now, when you go to McDonalds after the inside store closes, they only serve a VERY limited menu. No McChickens, no apple pies, and i hate to say it, but yes, no double cheeseburgers.

So not only does your ass have to pay two extra dollars for a quarter pounder, but you can't even enjoy the sanctity of a double cheeseburger. WTF?!

Maybe the whole country is in recession because of this. When everybody is baked or hammered at 2 a.m. and they pull over thinking they're going to spend $1.05 on a value menu item, they get fucked and have to start using their credit cards to pay.

And that shit will add up!

That being said, I have thought about living off of double cheeseburgers. I'd probably have to put a layer of wax around my asshole to keep it from burning off, but hell, double cheeseburgers are BOSS!

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