Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Is There Anybody That Really Cares About These Douchebags?

Okay, so they're both beautiful, really rich, and famous, but why do I care more about the rocks that get caught in the spaces underneath my shoe? (I do love to pick them out.)

So, while US Weekly is saying that these two avocados (just go with it) have quit each other, Star magazine says that they're still bumping each other's pits.

John's car was spotted parked at Aniston's house all night long. Jen probably just bought the exact car and had a replica of his license plate made so it LOOKED like they were still dating. She probably even have some sort of John look alike that drives it away every now and then, just to keep it all real.

In reality, we all know that Jen was crying, watching her screener of Benjamin Buttons. She really starts balling when they make Papa Pitt look 20.

"Me wants Bwad bwad's peepy," she probably cries into a gallon of Costco marble vanilla ice cream.

I wish I was at a CostCo right now. I seriously used to go there for lunch. There are free samples at every corner, so it's like a smorgasbord of imitation crab salad, saugsages, and cheese sqaures (mmm. imitation crab salad!)

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