Vital Information For Your Everyday Life

This was like the best part of All That. And All That was a pretty good show. And I mean that just like I said it. Pretty good.

It wasn't really good. Is any sketch show ever really good? I mean, maybe there's a good episode. Or a good performer.

Like Kristen Wigg. Pretty much anything she does is hilarious. No, I mean, everything she does is hilarious. She's the best part of Saturday Night Live. But SNL isn't a masterpiece of a show. Half of the skits suck, and Kenan Thompson just makes it that much worse of a show.

He has got to be the least funny cast member to have ever been on that show. Why do they let him on the stage? He's not funny.

Kenan was in All That. I think he did one funny skit, and it was where he played an old dude.

Kenan sucks. Why is he getting paid thousands of dollars to be on TV and I can barely pay my rent.

Oh yeah, because all I do is sit and post stupid shit like this on my blog.

Box Office For Last Weekend

They should totally make The Crotchmen into a movie!

Anywho... heres the box office numbers from this past weekend

Watchmen (Warner Bros.) $55.7 million - opening weekend
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail (Lionsgate) $8.8 million - 3 wk total $76.5m
Taken (20th Century Fox) $7.5 million - 6 wk total $118.0m
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight) $6.9 million - 17 wk total $125.4m
Paul Blart Mall Cop (Sony) $4.2 million - 8 wk total $133.6m
He's Just Not That Into You (Warner Bros.) $4.0 million - 5 wk total $84.6m
Coraline (Focus Features) $3.3 million - 5 wk total $65.7m
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Disney) $3.1 million - 4 wk total $38.4m
Jonas Brothers: 3D Concert Experience (Disney) $2.8 million - 2 wk total $38.4m
Fired Up (Sony) $2.6 million - 3 wk total $13.4m

Why Would Anybody Want To See Jacko?

Okay, this fucker officialy scares me now.

I don't give two shits what he did in his past. We all know the 80's belong to this fool, and yes, his albums were, and are influential and yadda yadda.

But the guy sleeps with children and looks like a botox infused Asian woman. And his nose is falling off according to several reports. So tell me this... WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE HIS CONCERT?

I don't know who i'm talking to, because I can't fathom anybody having a burning desire to see this freakshow in concert. For me, it would be like going to the circus if i had a fear of clowns. I have Jackophobia. I am afraid that I will ever run into this dude. He's scary

*shudders* x a million

Those people screaming for him are obviously all schizophrenics who have been continuously sedated for the past 20 years.

Asslee... I Mean Ashlee Simpson Is Set To Be On Melrose Place 2.0

(I know it's an old pic, but I like to think of this bitch with her old Titanic shaped nose)

It's almost difficult for me to say Ashlee Simpson now instead of Asslee Simpson. All of the gossip blogs call her Asslee, and as you can probably tell, I read way too many gossip blogs.

Well anyass... Jessica's little sister is set to be one of the stars on the new version of Melrose Place.

haha. HAhahahAHahahahaHAHahahaha (my laugh is varying from "that's really funny" to "that's amusing.")

I'm not one to make assumptions, and i've never seen the shit show straight to dvd movie Asshole Simpson was in... but I GUARA-FUCKIN-TEE This whore can't act. Fuck, she can't even lip sync the right song.

And why are they making a new Melrose Place. WTF? You can't just redo a concept and call it the same name as an old show. IT'S A DIFFERENT FUCKING SHOW! G-d Dammit. Seriously. God, I am asking you to damn this show.

It's bad enough that they did this shit to 90210 (wtf is the use of having 90210 without Brandon Walsh?) and now they're going to do it to another show. Aaron Spelling is turning over in his grave.

Sunday Morning Shoutout: Kum And Go

This Sunday Morning Shoutout goes out to my next door neighbor and good friends over at Kum and Go!

If it weren't for your $1 sandwiches and janky ass microwave, I'd never eat.

And when they say $1, they mean 1.00. Not 1.05, or 1.07, or whatever. I can't even count how many times my bashful ass has refrained from getting a double cheese at McDonalds because I only had $1. They freaking tease you. 99 cents my ass.

This Makes Me Sad

Sarah Silvertwat and Jimmy Kibble have broken up once and for all.

According to a source, Sarah broke it off and Jimmy's peen peen is really sad sad. I feel really bad for Jimmy actually, I feel like he's probably taking this break up really hard.

I don't know, I can picture him being really depressed and moping around his 10 million dollar mansion in his boxers eating oversized bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
(That would make me feel better. Until it was gone, then i would feel like shit again. I swear Cereal is like crack. You can't stop eating it, and then, when you've had too much, you feel like the plague.)

Brit Brit and Her Boys

This picture makes me smile in the gayest way.

It's so nice to see Britney looking healthy with her two sons. I swear, I don't think she's even had any purple drank in this pic (yeah, right... I know it's difficult to believe).

But here is the loving fam at Disney World where they stopped while Britney does her tour thing.

M.I.A Did Not Name Her Baby Ickit

After several blogs reported that MIA named her baby Ickitt, which I don't think anybody thought twice about, MIA responded to the news in her blog or something. Here's what she said:


MY BABY IS NOT CALLED ICKITT, PICKIT OR LICKIT THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL THE HOLLYWOOD PRESS. HES A BABY , HE DONT NEED PRESS!
I DIDNT RELEASE THE BABY NAME BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK IT WAS NEWS!!!!

BUT I WILL BE BACK WITH SOMETHING NEWS WORTHY SOON , TILL THEN GO PICK ON APPLE, SATCHEL AND MOON UNIT.

LOTS OF LOVE STICKIT!!

That's right everybody. Stick it!

Chris Brown Is A Great Role Model For The Kiddies... And So Is Lindsay Lohan!

Chris Brown has been nominated for 2 Kids Choice Awards.

Come now, Nickelodean, you have got to be kidding. You have got to remove his name from the nominees.

I'm sorry, I'm just sick of this sucker. I want him in jail. You can't beat the hell out of somebody, get caught, and not go to jail. Wait, I guess if you're a millionaire you can.

When kids start beating up Hanna Montana instead of cheering her on, we're going to know who to blame!

Lezzie Lohan is Loca Mad at CooCoo Katie

Remember the Lindsay Madonna pic I posted from Glamour Mag? Well, even though Lohan actually looked good in them, she's still pissed about the shoot because she didn't get the cover.

And who did? Why the lovely Crazy Katie Holmes.

Dude, it seems like all these famous bitches have done lost their damn minds. I guess I can relate, I lost my mind in the 11th grade after I smoked some bad weed, so I'm not judging, just stating the obvious.

To be honest, Lindsay shouldn't be surprised. I mean the cover talks about Do's and Don'ts. And I think putting Lezzie Lohan on the cover of Glamour after all the crazies she's pulled is a definite DON'T!

Just be happy Lindz that your pics turned out good and at least you're not married to Tom Cruise *shudders* (and yes, I hate the *emotion* type things too, but the idea of spending time with Tommy Cruise calls for shudders. But then again, so does spending time with Sam Sam Ronson.)